Wait, Does My Husband Have a Biological Clock, Too?

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m 32 and my husband is 45. We’ve talked about having children, but lately, he’s been pushing the issue pretty hard. I want to wait another year or two before we start but he’s been talking about how we’d better hurry because his “biological clock is ticking pretty loud.” At first, I thought he was joking but he seems very serious. Do men have biological clocks too?

A: Absolutely. Although most people know about women’s “biological clock” and the difficulties that women over thirty-five have in getting pregnant (as well as the increased risk of miscarriage, preterm birth, and birth defects that go along with “older” moms giving birth), we rarely hear anything about the effects of “older” fatherhood. In fact, having a child later in life is considered kind of cool—just think of all the celebrities who became dads in their mid-40s or later, including George Clooney, Alec Baldwin, Simon Cowell, David Letterman, Steve Martin, Clint Eastwood, and many others.

Here’s what we know about men’s biological clock:

• Some studies have found that men’s fertility begins to decrease starting at around age twenty-four. Others put the beginning of the end at thirty-five or forty. But regardless of when the decrease starts, most experts agree that the odds of conceiving within six months of trying go down 2 percent per year after that age.
• Sperm count decreases with age, and the little guys gradually lose their speed and accuracy, meaning fewer of them will make it all the way to the egg, and those that do will take a lot longer to get there.
• Sperm quality also decreases, meaning that the little guys that reach the egg are less able to fertilize it. In one recent study of couples undergoing IVF (in vitro fertilization) treatments, half of the men under 35 were successfully able to fertilize the egg. The rate fell to 42 percent for men 36-40, to 35 percent for those aged 41-45, and to 32 percent for those 45-50. Worse yet, even if older men are able to fertilize the egg, the resulting pregnancies have a slightly increased risk of ending in miscarriage.
• A number of very rare health risks and genetic conditions are associated with older dads. For example, research shows that compared to men under thirty, dads over forty have a higher risk of fathering children who are born prematurely, with schizophrenia, dwarfism, heart defects, facial abnormalities, autism, epilepsy, and some childhood cancers. Advanced paternal age may also be associated with children’s lower IQ scores, increased risk of developing breast cancer, and shortened life span. But again, these conditions are rare. And the connection between a dad’s age and elevated risks is small. Still, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine has set thirty-nine as the upper limit for sperm donations, and many clinics have even lower limits. Just something to keep in mind.

In addition, a lot of older dads get annoyed when people assume that they’re the grandfather instead of the dad. At the same time, they may get frustrated at not being able to do some of the physical things young dads do, such as skateboarding, giving piggyback rides, and just crawling around on the floor.

On the other hand, being an older dad has its advantages. And in many people’s eyes, those advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

• Older dads are generally more financially secure, less worried about saving up for a down payment or making partner, and better able to provide for their families.
• Research indicates that older dads are more likely to share responsibility for taking care of their children and tend to be more actively involved with them.
• Older dads may also be warmer, more nurturing, and more focused on their children than younger dads.
• Older dads rate themselves as being more patient, more mature, and calmer than the young bucks.
• There is some indication that children with older dads do better in school. That’s probably at least partly due to some of the factors above.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash